It was about 11:30 pm and the phone started ringing. It was Dmitry, who is usually a night owl, so I didn’t think it was weird or anything. He said he has been doing some thinking and he wanted to know how I’d been able to make a u-turn, “well, not a u-turn, but a drastic change” in my life for the better over the past couple of years.

Not that I was the worst before, but in his eyes I’ve grown to much higher levels of personal development and at an astounding rate. What was the moment at which I began this rapid rise? That’s what he wanted to know, and he was determined to stay on the phone until he found out. Luckily for us, I have been giving this much personal thought, so after just a few minutes it all became very clear.

Three Personal Development Principles

Accountability. Whether you are a potential employer, a friend of mine, or a curious bystander, when you google my name you get ‘AlexShalman.COM’ front and center. Everything I share with you guys automatically becomes public knowledge forever. When I let you know that I plan to do x, y, z - the world knows I am planning to stick to x, y, z, which makes it part of my identity and a bit hard to deviate from the plan.

This means that if I say something stupid when I’m hanging out with my friends, they do not hesitate to call me out on it. Several mornings ago, I was up at 4am writing a 20 page paper on ischemia-reperfusion injury (cardiology stuff), and I saw Nate Whitehill online. I messaged him to say ‘Uhhh I’m so tired I’ve been up writing for like 36 hours’. His response? ‘Wow, that is the first time I have heard you complain’.

That’s the way the story goes in many areas of my life. People now hold me to the higher standard that I have created for myself. They leave me no room to slack because in many ways, they are enrolled into upholding that personal development identity as well. Just think of how useful that is in order to maintain my goals! It’s as if at all times of my life I am a public figure. As you can imagine, this totally sucks if I ever want to complain… just kidding!

Constant and Never Ending Improvement. This would have to be the most fundamental rule to personal development and to success. Every single day I try to get better at something, improve upon something, or create a better paradigm for life. This consistent improvement is what fuels my fire to push forward and do personal development as a lifestyle. It gives me daily goals that make me feel absolutely exhilarated when I accomplish them.

Whether I crafted a fantastic meal by following a new recipe, learned to have a firmer handshake, read a life changing book, spent quality time with a friend, cleaned off my work area, wrote an article here to share something great with you, or sat down and made plans for our future personal development club, I feel like I’ve made progress.

Small gains in the things I deemed important, consistently, and over a long period of time, creates life altering personal development. It could be big, but it doesn’t have to be. A body builder doesn’t lift weights 10,000 times in one day to get huge, they do it a few times daily over the span of years. A farmer does not plant all the seeds in one day, they do it over a season and let the consistent labor lead to the cultivation of fruit. Small steps equal big results in personal development.

Operating With Heart. If you’ve recently looked at the about page, you would have noticed that my mission statement is included at the bottom. In this mission statement it reads “The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possibility of being someone who operates with the greatest good of all in mind”. Really living up to that statement changes absolutely everything about the way I think.

By not being the kind of person that would litter, get belligerent, or be a hypocrite, I am operating with heart. This follows one fundamental law that I believe in, which states: “If one person wishes to change the world, he must be the change and let the change lead by example”. I can’t stop immersing myself in personal development because I care about the fact that you will come to the website and want to read more, so I must have more available for you!

So by being accountable, having constant and never ending improvement, and operating with heart, I have been able to drastically improve the quality of my mind, my health, my life, my relationships with people and have created a new world of possibilities from which anything is possible for myself and my life. You have this very same power - just be the kind of person that does the necessary things to achieve your goals.

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“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”
~John Donne

No matter how much you’ve worked on your self-control you cannot deny that people in your life influence you. We happen to be the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

Spend one half of your time with your 4 friends and the other half with your spouse? It follows that you’ll be even more susceptible to influence from your spouse. This assimilation can lead to a blossoming healthy relationship, or take us into a downward spiral of self.

I’m personally not married, but I know how much time I spend with my girlfriend alone, and I observe how my parents and the parents of all my friends functions together. No where do I see couples where one person has a crap diet while the other is super healthy. With that said, let’s take a look at ways that we can get fit with our spouses.

1. Walk it out: The recommended minimum exercise is 3 times a week at 30 minutes a pop (depending on who you ask). You can take that a step further and go for walks after dinner or before bed every day of the week. A great time to talk and bond as well.
2. Couple’s sport: Find a couples sport, such as tennis, basketball, volleyball, etc. that you can play against with another couple you are friends with. This will encourage cooperation and teamwork strategies, which you’ll apply to other areas of your life, all while getting fit!
3. Crafting healthy meals: Getting caught without a healthy meal is like getting caught with your pants off (not from personal experience). Take the time to figure out who is going to be preparing what healthy meals so that you aren’t caught off guard with nothing healthy and forced to eat fast food.
4. Tossing the junk: If there’s no junk food in the house, you aren’t going to eat junk food in the house. Not keeping junk food in the house is a team effort if I’ve ever seen one. Make that decision together and keep healthy snacks like fruits, nuts, yogurts, and berries.
5. Enrolling your goals: If you have a certain weight loss or physical fitness goal don’t keep it to yourself. Keeping it to yourself is a sure fire way of losing motivation. On the other hand, if you share your goals with your significant other, they can keep you accountable and remind you when you’re slacking.
6. Sleep together: This isn’t what it sounds like (unless you want it to). Get on the same sleeping schedule so that neither of you is waking the other up. This will allow your body to function optimally, maximizing your sleep, and maximizing the use of your circadian rhythm.
7. Motivate (read: not criticize): There is a fine line between motivating your partner and making them feel like poop. The self-esteem has much to do with how we’re going to treat our bodies. Be kind, compassionate, and loving- this will help them grow into their goals instead of into those big clothes.

—–

Side note: I’m in the middle of finals week to finish up my master’s degree. I won’t be writing much through the 15th, but this is a great opportunity to write a guest article for this site if you have been thinking about it. It would mean getting your self-improvement message out to thousands of readers as well as getting some exposure for your site if you have one. Contact me, or check contribute page for details.

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“In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.”
~Henry Wadsworth

We spend too much, own too much, and want too much — it’s the human condition — and as long as we aren’t aware of it we’ll be a slave to the cycle. Being the ingenious little critters that we are, we’re able to learn, and adapt pretty well. In other words, all hope is not lost, we still have a chance.

The truth is that many of us are overworked, sleep deprived, and generally not content with our lives. If we were content, would we be wanting more money, more stuff, more, more more?

There is a way out of this cycle, which involves decluttering, simplifying, and concentrating on what’s important. We each have our own demons to battle, but many of them fit into a cookie cutter template that we can all relate to. Do less, live more.

“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
~Henry David Thoreau

1. Do nothing. See you’re so task oriented that you automatically wanted a list of things to add to your todo list. Take some time to do nothing, just sit there and be with yourself. It’s so hard for most people that being left to do nothing is a severe form of torture.
2. Throw something out. Look into a drawer that you haven’t opened in awhile and pick an item to throw out based on the fact that you know you won’t use it again. We are natural hoarders, but this just adds unnecessary complexity to our lives.
3. Clean your desktop. Sitting at a desk with no clutter will keep our minds clear and thinking about the task at hand. Start becoming distraction free in the seat you spend most of your day in.
4. Clean your desktop, again. This time I’m talking about the one on your computer. Get rid of all those icons and organize the folders in which you keep all your programs. Give yourself something visually simple to look at in order to keep a clear and focused mind.
5. Make your bed. Many of us don’t make our bed the first thing after we get up. Sometimes this gets neglected completely, unless we’re expecting company. Make it first thing and look forward to climbing into something neat and comfy at the end of the day.
   

   “The main purpose of science is simplicity and as we understand more things, everything is becoming simpler.”
   ~Edward Teller

6. Clear your inbox. I love gmail’s archive feature, it let’s you put things away, and keep your inbox clean. Reply to everything you need to, delete everything else, and keep your e-mail as a focus point, not a clutter point.
7. Eat slowly. Do not treat eating as one of life’s little inconveniences. Instead, eat slowly and enjoy each bite as if it were your last, and if it were, know that you got the most out of it.
8. Drive slower. There’s no need to speed race, talk on your cell phone, eat, and take notes all at the same time. Treat driving time as a time for decompression, meditation, and decluttering of your mind. Turn off the cell and enjoy these quiet moments of solitude.
9. Laugh out loud (lol). You really can trick your body into being happy by laughing out loud. If you don’t believe me, I’ll make a believer out of you. Spend the next 3 minutes laughing out loud, as hard as you can, making the sounds and body motions. You will be happier.
10. Talk to people. Instead of being absorbed in newspapers and television shows find a person to talk to. Discuss goals, dreams, aspirations and none of that self-pitying or past tense thinking.

“Simply the thing that I am shall make me live.”
~William Shakespeare

11. Pick most important things. Sit down with pen and paper and decide on the 3 things that are most important in your life, and how you can drop everything else to achieve them.
12. Drink water. Forget the sophisticated and often complicated drinks and stick to the most essential of all — water. At least 8 cups of this stuff a day — a bit less if you eat a lot of fruit — and a bit more if you exercise or sweat heavily.
13. Go for a walk. You don’t even have to put on your fancy bubble sneakers and hit the treadmill. It’s enough to go for a nice walk — at least 30 minutes (yes, that’s 2x 15, you’ll thank me for it one day) — and let some blood pump through your body. It’s recommend to do this 3 times a week to stay healthy, but my personal recommendation would be to make this into your daily routine.
14. Clean your closet. Do your laundry, put away all your clothes, and than take a good look at your closet. What do you not wear? What is not essential? Put the answers to these questions in a box and donate them.
15. Plan your meals. Eliminate the guess work of where will you eat next by planning, if not the whole week, than at least this entire day, as far as what and where you will eat. I guarantee that planning will allow you to make healthier choices while going easier on your wallet at the same time.

“Nature is what we know - Yet have not art to say - So impotent our wisdom is To her simplicity”
~Emily Dickinson

16. Visit nature. Bask in the beauty and serenity that nature has selflessly provided us with. Go to a forest, park, or simply sit under a tree, and do nothing, read a book, or chat with a friend. While out walking I saw a kid sitting under a tree with his laptop; while not the most effective use of nature, it still beats doing the required homework inside the house on a beautiful day.
17. Play catch. You won’t find too many activities easier than tossing the ball around between two people. It’s great exercise, it’s relaxing yet invigorating, and a great opportunity to talk and bond.
18. Eliminate distractions. Whether you’re working, reading, doing homework, or spending time with someone it’s important to give it your full attention. Turn off the phone, television, and any other distractions that can pop up unannounced. Be present.
19. Say ‘No’. In an effort to simplify, do not accept new commitments that you don’t want to accept. Say no to your boss, spouse, kids, and friends. Explain to them that you need some time to concentrate on the tasks at hand in order to simplify your life and increase your happiness, productivity, and vitality.
20. Read daily. If you were to take out 30 minutes a day to read (another 2×15), you will have spent 4.5 full work weeks reading by the end of the year. You would be very smart.

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
~Albert Einstein

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“So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating effect.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

During the past few months my productivity has been on point. I was consistently waking up at 6am to write, exercise and be productive. I eventually ended up switching my schedule to wake up at 4:30am to be even more productive. By 9am I had accomplished more than most people did in their entire day.

The past couple of days have been the complete opposite of this productive behavior. In fact, yesterday all I recall doing is eating and sleeping. Nearly 16 hours of sleep to be exact. Seems like I have my wires crossed. Thinking back on this I can’t help but feel guilty because I know there are so many extraordinary things I could be doing. None of which involve sleeping more.

The Extra Tiredness

I’m not the type to bask in guilt for too long. I like to get to the bottom of why things happen, and to uncover who I’ve been being in order to have taken the specific actions that I did. Was I overworked? Sick? Malnourished? This covers the physical reasons, but could there also have been psychological ones? Could it be that I was depressed, making my mind think about tiredness, frustrated about something, or around negative people? These could all be reasons for tiredness.

As I’m writing this article I think the issue is a combination of several factors, with one main factor domineering over the rest. I can’t remember the last day I’ve had the right amount of water. When I don’t get the right amount of water my body feels like a car that ran out of oil. Sluggish, clunky, and overheating. I haven’t been eating as many greens or fruits either.

The Impact

The impact of falling off the productivity train has both a positive and negative affect on us. In one sense it caused a breakdown of my body and my routine. In another sense it gave me the opportunity to think about the real issue and have the chance to correct it.

Since life is really a huge collection of habits and routines, whether in our actions or thoughts, it’s always good to see where we stand in our progress and what we’re actually doing. My goal is to build as many health habits as I can so that I can live a longer and healthier life and enjoy the greatest vitality and vigor that I can. With this energy I plan to motivate and inspire the people around me into taking action and being happy.

The impact of not being healthy and productive, for me, is to lose this ability with other people. If I do not have the energy to lead by example and stay productive than I do not consider myself a great role model. Due to these rules and limitations that I put on myself I do not feel awesome unless I am being and acting in this certain way. The divide between being and action is what destroys us.

If I’m being Alex The Sloth and getting nothing done instead of being Alex from AlexShalman.COM then my world is turned upside down. My body says one thing while my brain says the other. Like turning the wheel left and the car going right.

Have The Train And Eat It Too

“Everything in moderation — including moderation.”
~Harvey Steiman

Experiencing every carnal pleasure in excess would not be very satisfying. There just isn’t enough time to have those experiences in such great quantity while doing other things that we need for fulfillment. Besides you oversaturate your pleasure receptors and do not get the same amount of pleasure from repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again.

It’s interesting to note that you can’t be a great humanitarian and change the world if all you do is stay in bed, eat chocolate, have sex and sleep all day long. There is a disconnect between what you are doing and who you want to be.

On the other hand, you can’t work 90 hour weeks, neglect your friends, family, health and spiritual needs and consider yourself a great success. You might have traded in enough of your time for money, but the quality of your life is going to suck.

You can choose your actions but you can’t always choose the consequences of your actions. The law of gravity states that everything that comes up must come down. If you’re jumping off a bridge be prepared for the fall. If you’re going to eat that whole train cake, you’re going to get a stomach ache.

However, in moderation and balance we are capable of so much more. By aligning all the pillars of our life and giving them their due attention we are able to synergize our lives and propel ourselves to the top.

Next Action

One of the biggest take home lessons from this article is to constantly evaluate our progress. Which areas of our lives are lagging behind the rest? What can we do to live the best life possible? Let us know in the comments what’s lagging and how you can improve it. I’ll start.

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“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”
~John Donne

No matter how much you’ve worked on your self-control you cannot deny that people in your life influence you. We happen to be the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

Spend one half of your time with your 4 friends and the other half with your spouse? It follows that you’ll be even more susceptible to influence from your spouse. This assimilation can lead to a blossoming healthy relationship, or take us into a downward spiral.

I’m personally not married, but I know how much time I spend with my girlfriend alone, and I observe how my parents and the parents of all my friends functions together. No where do I see couples where one person is super happy and successful while the other is depressed and miserable. Such couples do not last.

Let’s take a look at some ways your spouse may be killing you softly:

1. Taking Away Your Health. It is pertinent to your health that your health goals are aligned with those of your spouse. Since you’re going to find yourself assimilating into each other to some degree you don’t want to be the healthy person that gets brought down by a food slob.

It’s important that you are agreeable as to what type of food you will have in the house, what type of places you will go out to eat, and what your nutritional and fitness values are.

2. Digging Into Your Wallet. Is it possible for one person to be a frugal saver while their spouse is a frivolous hyper consumer? Sure, if the saver is saving merely for the spending pleasure of the spouse.

If there are more serious saving goals, such as mortgage, investments, children’s education, than the hyper consumer lifestyle will be a burden on the overall financial health of this family unit. That is why it is important to be agreeable on financial goals, and the type of lifestyle that each spouse could expect to maintain, together.

3. Taking Away Your Dreams. Everyone in life has dreams, aspirations, and goals to do something, become someone, or go somewhere. Unfortunately for some these dreams haven’t been alive since they were a kid- we’ll have to address that in a different post. For the rest of us dreamers, it’s very important to discuss them as part of your non-negotiables before we even get into a serious relationship.

If you’re already in a relationship keep an eye on that spouse that bashes every vision that you dare to dream. The absolute pessimist that doesn’t let you breath. I’m not talking about the critical pessimist that won’t let you take the whole family saving and blow them on a hot stock. I’m talking about the one that won’t let you paint because they think you’ll never make something of yourself.

4. Taking Away Your Character. Do you consider yourself a nice person? What happens when day in and day out your spouse gossips, name-calls, and insults other people. Whether this is done in front of them, or behind their back, you are still being exposed to this type of mentality.

Whatever you resist persists, and if you let this behavior enter your mind, sooner or later you will also find yourself speaking like this.

What other areas of your life would you say your spouse is capable for ruining your life? Happiness, goals, values? I leave this article open for debate in the comments section below.

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“The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.” ~James Bryce

 This post is written by Robert of Flimjo.COM

A helpful source for practical personal development is literature. Nowhere else will you find better wisdom and insight to develop your sense of self and your character.

You will also find hidden pieces of advice and instruction. In other words, reading a great novel not only provides you with a nice reading experience, but it also gives you value that far exceeds the price you paid for that book.

One of my favorite writers is Ernest Hemingway. He died in a tragic way, but he left behind legendary novels that contain priceless guidance usually embedded in crisp dialogue and rich symbols and imagery.

Here are 10 of my favorite and most inspiring quotes from Hemingway’s novels:

1) “It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.” For Whom the Bell Tolls

A bit of strong quote to start off this list. Nevertheless, it illustrates the value and fulfillment of living while sticking to your beliefs and ideas. The minute you surrender your beliefs, you sacrifice who you are, and you condemn yourself to a life of timid submission.

2) “Nobody ever lives their life all the way up except bull-fighters.” The Sun Also Rises

Living safely does you no good. Although you don’t have to live like a bull-fighter literally, you won’t reach your potential in your own life unless you take calculated risks. If you think you can achieve something, go for it. If that job isn’t for you, quit.

If you like that girl sitting alone on a bench, go talk to her. Think less, and act more. Life is short, and you should live it “all the way.”

3) “The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one.” A Farewell to Arms

When you surrender your beliefs and your positions, a piece of you dies with that. People who do that don’t just do it once. They succumb to their fears over and over again. And with that giving-in goes a piece of their souls.

Stick to who you are, and know that nothing can chip away at that. You’ll protect yourself and your character. That’s bravery, and it’ll earn you just one death, albeit an honorable one.

4) “A man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.” The Old Man and the Sea

This quote is about legacy. If we live our lives to our fullest potential (i.e., “all the way”), we will leave a lasting impression on others. THAT is our legacy. Our lives might be extinguished in the future, but the impressions we’ve made, and the legacies we’ve left will live on forever.

The importance of this quote is how it begins: a “man is not made for defeat.” Our potential, our legacies are incapable of being defeated. Each one of us has the ability to leave our mark.

5) “There are many good fishermen and some great ones. But there is only one you.” The Old Man and the Sea

Perhaps my favorite quote in this novel. When you look around you, you see successful people. I see good lawyers, and I see great ones. I read blogs, and I see some good blogs and some great ones.

When you set out to do what you want to do, the key to success isn’t in trying to be like that great lawyer you met yesterday or that great blogger whose blog you visited today. The key is realizing that YOU are unique, and that you can create your own greatness.

6) “You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There’s nothing to that.” The Sun Also Rises

Everyone has problems and flaws. But running away from a realization and an acknowledgment of those issues won’t solve anything. Wherever you go, they will follow you. The hardest thing to do is look in the mirror and say, “I’m going to fix this. I can change.”

7) “They were beaten to start with. They were beaten when they took them from their farms and put them in the army. That is why the peasant has wisdom, because he is defeated from the start. Put him in power and see how wise he is.” A Farewell to Arms

Nothing educates and motivates a person like failure. Viewing everything from the bottom has a way of strengthening one’s mind and one’s heart. With that strength comes wisdom and, most important, the ability to achieve more than last time.

8.) “To hell with luck. I’ll bring the luck with me.” The Old Man and the Sea

We create our own luck. A simple example: You don’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a lottery ticket. If you want to succeed, you have to aim for the fences. Then, the more you strive towards your goals, the more luck you will encounter.

Sitting around and waiting for good things to happen will prohibit you from attaining any sort of success. It’s only by reaching as high as you can that you will expose yourself to opportunities, including the lucky ones.

9) “There is only now and if now is only two days, then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This is how you live a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you will never get, you will have a good life.” For Whom the Bell Tolls

One of the most important themes of For Whom the Bell Tolls is the well-known principle that one should “seize the day.” The main character, a young American named Robert Jordan, realizes this idea after he makes love to Maria, a Spanish native and the love of his life.

Caught in the midst of the Spanish civil war, Jordan realizes that the only way to have a good life is to live each day as if that was all you had. Yesterday doesn’t matter, and neither does tomorrow. Today is what you have, and it makes sense to make the best of it.

10) “I suppose if a man has something once, always something of it remains.” For Whom the Bell Tolls

In the novel, Pilar, the wife of the leader (Pablo) of the guerrilla movement to which Robert Jordan belongs, makes this comment about Pablo because she is disappointed in how cowardly he has become, particularly since he used to be such a braver man in his youth.

This quote reveals that we all have the potential to be youthful, exuberant, and fearless. That is how we were when we were young, and it never left us because, if we had it once, “something of it remains.” Thus, the fear and hesitation that life burdens us with as we grow older is no match for the youthful exuberance and fearlessness that we all still have.

 This post is written by Robert of Flimjo.COM

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Contributed by: Vera Nadine of veranadine.com

I am a procrastinator. There’s no two ways about it. And I don’t mean that I can sometimes put off doing the dishes until the next morning. I mean that I can put anything off, anytime, for any reason.

What strikes me about the self-development movement is all the emphasis on getting up early, implementing the law of attraction, optimizing your time-to-input ratio and just doing it! Yet very little is said about that dirty little secret. Though Alex has written about the extra pain that procrastination causes us hardly anyone seems to address that great divide between the knowing what you should do and the actual doing of it.

Today I can say that I am someone who writes every day, who walks outdoors in nature every day, who gets up early every day and who only eats an organic vegetarian diet. I can say, truthfully, that I live in Europe and that I am in a happy relationship. I can say with all honest that I meditate regularly and that I help people on their own paths of self-discovery.

But I could not say those things in a truthful way just one year ago. Why not? Because I only knew that I should be doing those things, that those things would make me happier. But the trouble is I knew, but I didn’t do. And I had been knowing those things, consciously, for several years.

So what changed? How do I overcome my procrastination, and how can you do it too?

Here are twelve relatively simple tools that you can implement to help overcome even the most stubborn case of procrastination:

1. Do not place so much emphasis on perfection: This one is at the top because it is my own biggest crutch when it comes to not getting things done. It is especially significant in keeping me from achieving personal goals. For everything that I really WANT to do in my life there is the perfect scenario for how it should be done. Yoga should be done in a light, bright, zen-inspired home studio. Books should be penned in a mountaintop cabin overlooking a desolate lake. We all have hang-ups like this. We have all seen too many movies, read too many new-age magazine articles. Oddly enough, you will write the same wonderful book whether or not you have that glow-in-dark pencil sharpener on the corner of your desk. Once you allow yourself and the environment around you the freedom to be fluid and imperfect, for that is the only state that ever gives rise to true creativity and determination, and too just begin working on the project, you will quickly see that it was all just an illusion. You do not need every bit of jogging paraphernalia to get up and run around the block and even doing the smallest bit of your project will get the ball rolling, without the need for your heavenly dream scenario.

2. Do not beat yourself up when you do delay something: Life happens and as a result, try as we might, we cannot always fulfill every commitment on time and as planned. We get the flu. Emergencies occur, even acts of God. But if you begin placing blame on yourself, giving power to the voice that says you are bad, what happens? You get more dejected, more off-track and the result is not a constructive one (ie. You completing the delayed project.) Instead you begin dragging your feet on other projects as well and the whole thing spirals out-of-control. When you delay something simply make a note of it in your mind. Set a new, firm, time to complete the task and make an effort not to delay it again. Take notice of how often you are delaying things and try to lessen the occurrence over time but do not place blame or shame upon yourself for any delays. You are aware of it, that is a positive step.

3. Find the root of the problem: You are not usually choosing to procrastinate on a conscience level but are instead avoiding something that you find unpleasant. The key is not to ignore the problem, but to sit down and ask yourself where the root of this discomfort lies. I recently did this with my procrastination about writing. I sat down and asked myself if I have always procrastinated about writing. Looking back into my youth I could see that the answer was no. I then continued going through my life and pinpointed the time-period in which this changed. After narrowing the possibilities and timeframe, I discovered that it was all due to anxiety about my undergraduate academic writing class. Ever since I have found writing a breeze and the procrastination in that area of my life gets less-and-less. Try the same exercise yourself to see if the root of your procrastination lies in some seemingly-inconsequential past event or irrational fear.

4. Allow enough time to go at a leisurely pace: Feeling rushed is a very common cause of procrastination. When you don’t think that you have enough time to bring a thing to a successful completion, you are less likely to even begin it. By blocking off a space of time in which you can actually achieve a thing, you will feel more confident when sitting down to begin doing it. If you do not plan your time, at least somewhat, and instead wait until the whole thing reaches a critical moment, you will not feel confident in doing it all. I, myself, do not find strict scheduling to work well for me. I instead like to guesstimate how much time a thing will take if I do it to the best of my abilities and then choose an appropriate-length block of time that I can dedicate to it when I feel ready to tackle to head-on.

5. Admit your weaknesses ie. procrastination: When agreeing, either with yourself or with another person, that you will do a thing, be honest about your tendency to procrastinate. This doesn’t mean marching up to your boss and saying that you cannot do that promotional mailing that you already agreed to do. But it does mean being honest about your own abilities. Tell him: “Of course I can do that for you. Would you mind checking in with me occasionally to make sure that I am staying on schedule?” Or better yet, when working on something with or for others, ask them to request portions of the finished product from you to keep you on track. Let them know that you do want to help them but that you have a tendency to become distracted and to bite off more than you can chew, so a little help and understanding from them will go a long way. Having this out in the open does not free you to use it as an excuse for not completing things, but it does give you the opportunity to begin working on fixing it, one person and one commitment at a time.

6. Realize that you are doing it for you: Whether you consciously know it or not, everything that you are hoping to do or have promised to do is something that you are doing for yourself. It may not seem that way on the surface. “How is my Saturday chore of mowing the neighbor’s lawn something that I do for myself?” Well there can be several answers. You offered to do it because you wanted to seem like a nice guy. You are doing it to earn some extra money. You don’t realize it, but is the only 15 minutes that you get to yourself all week long. Any task is essentially for you and therefore the only person that you cheat by shirking your intention to act is yourself. Go ahead: start that knitting club that you told yourself you wanted to start LAST spring. The longer that you think about something and do not actually do it, the more energy you waste on it, all the while missing out on the energy that you thought you would get from it.

7. Do not expect a specific outcome or reward: As I mentioned above, you are undertaking certain actions, no matter what they are, for yourself and not for anyone else. That being said, once you begin a thing you must immediately find away to put aside all thoughts on the “reason” that you are doing it. Dwelling on the fruits of your labor, and worrying about whether or not they will pay off, is another really big barrier to continuation and completion. “Will that guy really even publish this article?” “Can I even keep this garden alive?” Each of us is constantly questioning the final outcome of or intentions. But, once you begin, your focus must shift, what you are doing must become about the actual doing. “I am doing this because I love writing from my experience.” “I am doing this because I have always wanted to design a garden.” When you make the reason the actual doing of the thing, it releases you from all anxiety about outcome or expectations, leaving you with a lot of extra energy to put into your actions.

8. Do not over-commit yourself: You want to help everyone. You want to achieve everything. But trying to do it all at once virtually guarantees that you will not succeed. Sometimes we do this to ourselves on purpose, something inside of us desires to reinforce our belief that we cannot attain success. But if you find yourself being consistently overwhelmed with commitments and intentions then you need to address the problem head-on. You must learn, for your own mental health and well-being, to say “No.” You are not obliged to solve the world’s problems. And you certainly shouldn’t attempt to solve the problems of others by creating problems for yourself. When you are kind enough to say “no” to someone else’s kind request (or even to the torrent of ideas flowing from your own mind) you save them potential disappointment when you don’t come through and you save yourself the stress of feeling pressured and beating yourself up. In time people will come to appreciate your honesty and the fact that when you do contribute you always give it your all.

9. Enlist help, ie. delegate: The hardest thing for us very independent, modern people to admit is that we cannot do it all, that we sometimes need help. But ask any successful businessperson and they will tell you that the most effective thing that you can do is to delegate to qualified people. If you are skilled at building engineering and you get paid $150 an hour to do that, the most senseless thing is for you to waste 4 hours of your time, and deplete your energies through stressful struggle, trying to research which is the best water cooler delivery company to go with. It’s simple, delegate it . If the task that you are procrastinating on is something that consistently plagues you, or one for which you already know the person who would excel at it, just simply enlist their help and move on to a pursuit that is a much more positive use of your time and energy. Paying someone $20 to do something that would have wasted $200 worth of your personal effort, is a very good trade-off indeed.

10. Allow yourself to fail: If, when thinking of a task or a goal, you immediately think, “I can’t do that,” then the diagnosis would clearly be fear of failure. And why not? We have been taught all of our lives that a failure of any kind is an estimate of a our overall value as a human being. However, having the gumption to try is the true measure of our inner world. When you want to learn something, the only way to succeed is to try. Count your failures as lessons and as tangible things which are evidence to your own initiative, your own bravery and your determination to achieve your goals. To never attempt to manifest anything, simply out of fear that you will not succeed, is the true definition of ultimate failure. Allow yourself to fail with kindness and acceptance toward yourself. When you want to go out on a limb, just go, and let the going be the learning experience…refer back to #7 for a refresher.

11. Turn off the television: I cannot count how many times in my life I have had the energy, the intention and the plan to do something only to become distracted by some interesting thing on the Discovery Channel, undoubtedly followed by some other, equally interesting, thing and so-on and so-forth. Television, whether you think I am a conspiracy theorist or not, is designed to distract you. They want you to sit and watch it for hours-and-hours and they run fantastic scientific tests and studies to make sure that you do just that. So, turn it off. (I actually gave all of my T.Vs away.) Once it is off for a while, you will notice what those ancestors of ours felt back in the 18^th and 19^th centuries, there is a whole world of stuff out there to be done, to be discovered and to be created. (Unfortunately if your replace the T.V. with the P.C. you encounter a similar problem.)

12. Stop looking at the clock: When we feel like something is not fun or like our energy for a specific task is not flowing as freely as we would like, we tend to still attempt to hold ourselves to our regular high standards. (And let’s face it no one puts pressure on you quite the way that you do.) But with any task, and especially with those that we find difficult, it is important to take it slowly if we must. Put a piece of tape or paper over the nearest clock. Don’t keep looking at it thinking that you should be done by now or that you haven’t done enough in the time that you have spent. Putting forth your efforts should always be about quality versus quantity. Take your time writing those sentences, three exceptionally poignant ones will always outweigh forty-three exceptionally fluffy ones. Let your creativity flow at its own pace without pressure and without shame, for therein lies the high-quality outcome that you so desire.

Author Bio: Vera Nadine

Vera Nadine is a spirit channel and inspirational writer who blogs about spiritual development at veranadine.com.

If you like this article please give it a thumbs up on StumbleUpon. If you want to write a guest post please see the contribution page.

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Here are this week’s goodies from around the web:

Happiness: The Group Writing Project

1. Inspired Money Maker
2. Blog by Tyna
3. Kelvin Goh

Three new happiness projects this week. The numbers are really adding up!

If you haven’t participated yet, and would like to do so then get the instructions from Happiness: The Group Writing Project. To see the entire list of participants, please visit the Happiness Project page.

Alex Shalman Elsewhere

1. 6 Reasons Why Productivity Belongs To The Night Owls at DumbLittleMan.com

Reading Material

• Tuesday’s With Morrie by Mitch Albom

Advertise

If you get any advertisement from the advertise page through Friday I will give you a 10 day free extension on your ad. With the new version of OIOPublisher I will be able to take a queue on purchases, so if it’s full you can still get the discount if you place the order this week.

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WARNING: Reading this post will open the door to endless possibilities. It contains a proven step-by-step system on how to turn your thoughts into money or anything else. But first, let’s watch a clip from Will Smith, one of the best actors in the world:

Is it just me or was he having some trouble trying to express himself? If you’ve watched “The Secret”, you’ll remember this quote:

“What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists.”

-Alexander Graham Bell

Something tells me that Will Smith is going to agree with that. Considering his accomplishments as a person, you and I both know that he was trying to describe the Law of Attraction.

Would you believe me if I told you that even in his haphazard way, Will Smith actually managed to highlight some very important points about the Law of Attraction? Well, he did and what I’m going to do here is to clarify them.

I’m going to make it crystal clear for you so that by the time you finish reading this, you can go out there and manifest your thoughts into whatever you want.

As you read further and further into this post, it will become increasingly clear to you that you have to learn more about the Law of Attraction simply because of its tremendous power.

Recently, my first batch of “The Law of Attraction Coaching Club” members just graduated. Just five minutes ago I got an E-mail from one of them.

“Hey Saif! I had another home sale today and an unexpected pay raise!!!! My sales manager and general manager called me in and gave me this raise and I was so surprised and happy. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised huh? Thanks for all the great motivation and encouragement!!!”

- Kathy Klinger

I don’t know about you but I think I’ll be jumping up and down like a madman if that happened to me! But then again, like she said it’s not a surprise because that’s what happens when you know how to work the Law of Attraction for you.

Introducing: The 5 Magic Steps

Today, I’m going to reveal to you exactly what I told Kathy and everyone else in the club. The exercises I’m going to reveal to you are easy to do but we both know that they’re easy not to do as well.

If you’re committed to attracting whatever you want, then let’s dig in!

1) Live Your Passion.

I know you’ve heard this countless times so I’m not going to concentrate on this as much as the four other steps. Basically, the Law of Attraction states that you attract whatever you’re in vibrational resonance with.

When I say vibrational resonance, what I’m really saying is the way you feel. Hence, living your passion will constantly put you in a high state of vibration that will attract similar people, events and things into your life.

If you’re still not sure about your passion, I suggest you take the test at Brian Kim’s article that has been featured on CNNBC.com.

2) Set Your Intention.

Most people who fail to see amazing results usually fall at this step. So I’m going to be a bit more elaborate here.

i) Think BIG!

My best results have come from thinking BIG. It seems like the Universe doesn’t reward people who think small. Whatever you desire, make it so big that it excites you but terrifies you at the same time.

STOP! There is a BIG trap here that many people don’t see and I’ve devoted an entire chapter to this which you can download for free by clicking on the image below:

ii) Make Your Vision Clear And Compelling.

You know how people are always asking themselves,”Why am I here?” I think that’s a scary rabbit hole you don’t want to go into.

Instead of trying to find your life purpose, I suggest you invest your time in creating a life vision. You see my friend, a life purpose is noble but a life vision is exciting!

When you get excited about your vision, the work you do is going to be fun and exciting because every action you take is a step towards what you want to be, do or have. And that’s why in the first step, I talked about thinking BIG!

When you think BIG, the possibilities are so exhilarating that you find yourself being sucked into your vision and you don’t have to push yourself to attain it (i.e. laziness, procrastination etc.) and everything that you want will come easily to you.

ii) Devote Your Intention To Something Bigger Than Yourself.

Many people know Jackie Robinson as one of the best athletes the world has ever seen. In my eyes, he stands for something more than that.

Jackie Robinson was faced with countless intolerable insults and assaults during his time at the Brooklyn Dodgers from opposition players and his own team-mates. I think the most inhumane thing that happened was when a team-mate sticked a razor-blade into the inside of his shoes.

Sure enough, it cut his feet open like a knife cutting cheese. However, he still played on and won matches single-handedly with such injuries.

He would go on to end 80 years of baseball segregation a.k.a the color barrier and become one of the best sportsman in history. When asked how he could keep his cool all that while, Jackie said something to the effect of, “I was committing to something BIGGER than myself.”

You see my friend, the greatest men and women in history didn’t do the things they did for personal gain. Their intentions were to devote their lives to their work and GIVE to others. Is it no wonder that these people have the most abundance in their lives?

Give and you shall receive - that is the law. The law of Attraction.

3) Release Counter-intentions.

As you start to take action, the biggest barriers you’ll face are the ones within yourself, not without. These may come in the form of limiting beliefs, procrastination and many others.

Overcoming them is easier than you think! Personally, I use Ho’oponopono where I say,”I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you,” repeatedly until the feelings dissipate. I’ve written extensively on this and you can read about the Ho’oponopono clearing technique here

Other techniques include the Sedona Method and currently the big thing is Emotional Freedom Techniques and i highly recommend you get your own Free EFT Get Started Package there.

4) Visualize Already Having It.

You probably already know that when you visualize something in your mind over and over again, your subconscious mind will take it to be true.

And since your subconscious mind is the “soul” of your mind, what happens is that you’ll find yourself doing things that will ultimately manifest that vision - subconsciously of course.

I use Mind Movies where I string together images of what I want to have, add some affirmations and some kick-ass music and watch it every day when I wake up and just before I go to sleep. You can watch a good example here.

What you have to remember is that this shouldn’t be a chore. It’s supposed to get you excited and put you into a state of vibration that will allow you to attract people, events and things that you need to manifest your intention.

5) Let Go.

“Intention is not simply whim. It requires attention and it also requires detachment. Once you’ve created the intention mindfully, you must be able to detach from the outcome,, and let the universe handle the details of fulfillment.”
-Dr Deepak Chopra

The great thing about the Law of Attraction is that it surprises you all the time. Sometimes, you may be expecting what you want from one source but it comes to you from an unexpected one instead.

In order to experience this, you have to do what most people can’t. And that is to let go and be totally detached about the results. Expect it but don’t be reliant on it because if you do, you’re coming from a place of lack, scarcity and desperation.

As a result you will end up repelling what you want instead of attracting it.

A Final Word

I’m going to be frank with you here. Sometimes, you won’t get what you want even if you follow these steps to the tee. But if you’re open to the fact that your Universe will work out eventually, you’ll get something even better!

This guest post is written by SaiF a.k.a. The World’s First Teen Personal Development Video Blogger. His blog mostly contain videos from Personal Development Gurus and he highly recommends that you download his Law of Attraction Steroids report by clicking here.

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My whole life I wondered how it is that, all things being equal, two people in the same situation can be happy and unhappy, respectively.

It puzzled me how people gravitated toward happiness in dire situations, while others, who seemingly had everything, were constantly depressed.

Several months ago I stopped wondering and started searching by conducting what you all know as the Happiness Project, a series of interviews with 34 notable people about the subject of happiness. This snowballed into a venture in which over 60 people answered the questions for us using their own blogs.

I took a look at all of the responses, compared them to definitions of happiness within different cultures and religions, and attended a landmark education event called “creating happiness”. At this point my definition of happiness is as clear as it’s ever been and I’m very happy to be able to share it with you.

“Happiness is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be.”
~Alex Shalman

If you go ahead and sit with this definition for a while I am very confident that you will see the simplicity of it. Keep in mind that it’s pretty easy to be happy when everything is going your way. It takes real strength and courage to be happy in the face of difficulties.

By becoming the creators we are taking responsibility for our own happiness. The essential step is realizing that we can be happy regardless of the circumstances or situations that we find ourselves in. It doesn’t take the right person, place, or thing in order to bring the happiness to us. It certainly does not take the right situation.

In fact, we can be happy without needing a situation to be happy for! By really getting present to the fact that we are the ones that put meaning to everything in our lives, we are able to put the meaning of happiness into our lives at will.

The simple fact that happiness is a choice means that making the decision to be happy means you are happy. If you’re too busy to make that split second decision, then you can receive happiness as a side effect of being the best you that you can be. The caveat is that both being happy and being the best you that you can be leads to an overall better life. You don’t have to choose between one or the other. Do both. Be happy and be the best you that you can be.

“When you’re working on being happy, you are the type of person that created the possibility that you are not currently happy.”
~Roger Smith (Landmark Education)

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